I was sure it would take months and months to get pregnant. I had surgery on my uterus a few years back and even though my doctors assured me that conceiving was possible I was I was pretty sure that it wasn’t going to be easy peasy. Even so, the first month we tried, I optimistically sat on that toilet and prayed for a plus. No such luck though… and of course I was crushed. We decided then and there that we couldn’t hang our hopes on every month being the month. We were going to be very Zen about the whole thing. That, and have lots of sex. That was the plan, being Buddha and humping like rabbits. We settled in for the long haul, but as my husband likes to say ‘his swimmers are good.’ Second try was the charm and it seems we are about to be first time parents.
I screamed out loud when I saw the pregnancy test flash pregnant (they are very high tech these digital tests). I jumped up and down, I walked away and came back to look at it again, I was flabbergasted. I was tired but I didn’t feel all that different, a little nausea, but no real ‘knock-knock’ from in the belly announcing a second party was present. My first thoughts, how was I going to tell my husband? I ran right out, picked up a dozen crabs (I’m from Baltimore, that’s how we do celebrating) and cake and split of champagne (one sip people don’t worry). I considered laying the test on his place but for sake of hygiene I surprised him with the whole hand behind the back thing… He was every bit the proud papa I expected him to be and we go right down to getting ready for baby.
This past Sunday we decided it would be fun to check out the Baby’s R’Us in town, you know for “fun” as expectant parents. We wandered down the diaper aisle, and the bouncy chair aisle, and the stroller aisle. Each aisle was more expensive than the last! And before we really talk about cost can we talk about the sheer number of choices! There are Eddie Bower edition car seats, and Dora the Explorer play gyms, you get the picture. Prices range from high to astronomical. Suddenly the reality of the financial situation smacked us in the face. And how can you tell which one is the best, not just the prettiest? I guess this will be my mission over the next eight or so months. I see a lot of changes in my future.
The biggest adjustment so far has been the eating. I am the first to tell you I have terrible eating habits. Bread, not Broccoli, is my buddy. Sugar is my constant companion, and Wine, well what can I say about my old friend Wine and her partner in crime Margaritas? But suddenly whatever I eat goes directly to my new baby making machine and I want to give this little zygote a head start on liking all things green and organic. So far I am about fifty/fifty; salmon for dinner, and grape fruit and yogurt for breakfast-and combos for lunch. Combos have some redeeming qualities right? Cheese equals calcium and protein, pretzel is grain maybe? I will continue to work on this. I guess this is what it will be like from here on out. Every choice I make is no longer just about me. Being married is one thing, we make decisions together- but as adults both having equal say. I am now making decisions in the best interests of a living being that depends on me to protect and GROW them… Someday soon I will have to make decisions that my new little bundle of joy won’t like or even understand… But for now I guess I will tackle a few small things first, like cloth diapers vs. disposable, and Baby Bjorn vs. Sling, and to know the gender or not… and away we go!
